One day I’ll have to read that book. Lesse if I’ll ever really get around to doing that. But the book has nothing to do with my choice of title.

I’m currently fighting way too many wars on way to many fronts, when all I really want is peace. None of these fights have been forced on me. They are – for the most part – of my own fabrication. Sure there’s factors outside my control who influence this, but … it is my choice to stop and actually fight. I could always deny battle. This is part of why this is so attritional. Battles of attrition can’t really be won by either side. Thats sort of the definition.

There’s too much going on at the moment for me to handle. CJ, AM, RO, LSY, work, social, life in general. I just … can’t handle all that. And I really don’t know where to deny battle to stay sane. Most of these things simply can’t be ignored, not even for a short period of time. I hate situations like these.

Well … there’s one in there I could ignore … which sort of would solve all the others. But I’d prolly never again have my peace from the complaints sure to follow that. Once again … not an option.

I am terribly sorry for how that turned out today, CJ. I … should’ve gone to bed right away, but I was … hoping, vainly, as it turned out. IMYL!

Had tears in my eyes during two episodes today. Actually I feel like beating myself up by playing the one scene (from another series) that I know will break me. I’m sorta in the “mood” for … GMM and emotional DSI.

I seriously don’t get why you suddenly care. Why you suddenly seem to make an effort. What made you develop an interest suddenly. You know, it hurts like hell. I thought I had something here, and then … you go “AWOL” for … months. Just as well that someone else didn’t contact me. That’d prolly do me in right now.
Well, at least I made that phone-sales-chick laugh just now I’m rather great at … simulating. Great ability, eh?

I hate going to sleep when things are the way they are. But I can’t solve them right now, since I’m not in the condition for it. I know that, and subconsciously I knew it earlier. Well … what’s done is done, and unfortunately I can’t change it. Fortunately I can work on one aspect of what’s denying me sleep. *devious grin*
I hope tomorrow will be heaps better than today. Prolly another vain wish.