… be watching ER when I feel the way I am feeling right now. I sort of know that, but then again … I still do it. Especially Season 7 started do be sadder than the other ones. Nearly moved to tears during the last episode “The greatest of gifts”.

Going on to the next one there’s something that’s always bugged me: Unnecessary Pep-Talk. If I … have a wish to someone I trust, even though it may seem unnecessary, why the fuck do people fight it. Why do people always feel the need to cheer one up?
In this situation it’s someone going into a potentially life-threatening surgery, and he just wishes to set things in order for the chance that something goes wrong. What’s so wrong with that? If I decide I want do be DNR, then thats my frigging prerogative, isn’t it? And if I ask someone I trust to fulfill this wish in case I can’t any longer, I don’t need a frigging “You’ll be fine”. I want to go in, knowing I have everything humanly possible covered.

Yeah … today wasn’t so bad, but it was … mediocre. Until, that is, a certain phone call. I must admit … they have a greater power over me than I … appreciated. But I am fairly certain my trust on this issue won’t be abused. I just don’t think you have it in you to do such a thing, and … usually … I am right on such judgments.
Oh, I wanted to … change our deal on that phone call thing we “agreed on”. Please remind me to tell ya, k?

EVE’s being neglected a bit lately, but I hope that’ll change soon. We need to get on track with our plans.

You know … sometimes I sort of wish for some serious, life threatening illness (from which I recover) to … maybe change my perspective on life. I honestly think … I take too much too serious. And … such an experience might change the way I look at things, life and the lot. Unfortunately this “knowledge” doesn’t enable me to actually do something about the way I function. I’d love to, cuz I think this’d help me with … more than one of my problems. Well … ain’t there a saying along the lines of “Be careful what you wish for”? … I’ll see, I guess.There’s quite a few thing’s I’d like to write about now, but … I don’t want to. It’d be too painful and … embarrassing.

Therefore: Good Night. Talk to you all tomorrow.