Words are a difficult thing. They can convey information or hide it or distort it. And it’s never quite clear which is going on at any given moment.
To borrow a phrase from the Vorlons in Babylon 5: “Truth is a three-edged sword”. And that it is.

These last few days there’s often been situations where words, sentences popped into my head, specifically when talking to you. My intellect almost immediately discards them, but they where there, even if only for a short time. I know it’d be … unwise to say these things out loud. They are … well contained in my head, inside my mind.
It’s – once again – very confusing and disconcerting. I’ve had to do this before, often. I think everyone had to do it at one point or other. I guess, it’s the frequency which makes this so hard.

I’m more and more convinced that my “revelation” tonight was a – rather serious – mistake. I have long pondered if I should say anything or not … Maybe it’d been better if I just had kept my bloody mouth shut. I am sorry, if I added to your difficulties, I truly am.

I’m fairly disappointed with myself. I had planned to get a bloody lot done this week, and managed not even 10% of it all. At the very least … I did not completely fail, small consolation that that is. I had a serious goal in mind. A very good reason, and still I managed almost nothing, except for watching a gazillion of DVDs. I actually managed to watch all of season 8 of ER in less than 30 hours, including sleeping… Great achievement, ain’t it?

I checked out a new restaurant tonight. It was rather nice, although I wasn’t overly impressed with the service. But it has great potential, and I should prolly check it out again, when it’s not that busy. And I have a fairly good idea who I’d like to join me.

BTW: I completely agree with your assessment. Even though it’s a man where talking about … It’s a most appealing voice, and I also like the smile.

Going out with my dad a few nights ago … frightened the living daylights out of me.

My most easily visible scars have almost completely faded to the point where one has to look real close to actually discern them. This is good news, I think. This is not about me wanting to hide something, I still talk openly about it. I don’t mind people asking me about it, but it is rather … good to not have obvious visual signs of my illness. I may be deluding myself, but I think it also means that – at least part of – my illness may be fading too. I hope … I really hope … it’ll be for longer this time.
As for the other ones … they are not quite at the same point, yet. Which means that stuff like swimming and saunas and the likes are … sort of out of the question. Pity.

I had a few more thoughts or ideas I wanted to post in this entry. But they won’t line up and form complete, coherent sentences. That’s not completely unusual, but still also not what I’m used to. There’s that pride again.

Ah well … I guess I’ll just leave it at this, and then eventually write about the rest.