I don’t know, if you know those feelings, but there are times when two – or more – emotions fight within oneself. I’ve always found this to be very irritating, because one can’t form any proper opinion on the subject. Not until one side has won the battle. But often I want to influence the outcome. I want one scenario to happen over another, and I just can’t make it happen. My mind has formed one opinion, whereas my heart formed another. And I just can’t get them to match, or even compromise. It seems, as if one side always has to lose.
But … isn’t life all about compromising? Making the best out of every situation, every problem? Isn’t that what makes humans superior to animals? Conscious thought, the ability to compromise?

I guess it is, but every so often we are faced with situations in which we simply don’t want to compromise, or in which other influences prohibit us from forming a compromise.

Right now I am faced with one of the latter. I simply can’t see any way to achieve a compromise. It’s all-or-nothing right now. Even though the “nothing” part ain’t completely true. Which is why I … simply don’t say some of the things on my mind.

I am seriously pissed at one “building”. I wish I could change what happened. Be … what I was, but in a different role. I figure it’s Utopian to hope for this to be a viable scenario. So my only choice is to sit back, and suffer then consequences of my inability or idiocy. I hate inaction. Yeah, I’m not always good at taking (the right) action, but (IMHO) … failure to take any action at all (out of fear?) is worse than doing something and failing. In this case I am seriously unsure if taking action would cause more damage than it’d do good. That’s all that holds me back. Because it’d not be damage to myself, but someone else.

Not sure if I … understood one blog correctly. I hope I did, which would mean my comment was … right, true and appropriate. I apologize if I misunderstood! Please just delete it if I misinterpreted it!

I’m oing to take a hot shower now. To give me some pain, but noting lasting. Then I’ll try to sleep. I know who’s gonna be on my mind, and I can’t change that. I reckon it’s nice, even though it’s nothing more than a very unlikely wish.

Take care, and … talk to you tomorrow.