Yesterday (= Thursday) was a very weird day. I woke up way earlier than I should have been able to awake, by any right. I received a very welcome and surprising phone call. It’s content was rather … surprising too. I made up my mind during the call, that I’ll make it possible if I can. I had a glimmer of hope to maybe combine this with something else, but I guess it’ll be to late¹ by then.

Later I went shopping and the weather was fine. As far as I can recall this really was the first day with proper sunshine and a spring feeling this year. Once I left to go to work though, the sun was blotted out by clouds. Very ominous.

A few days ago I bought myself a new deodorant. I was put off by the similar color to my usual one, and since then I am constantly irritated by my own smell. Who in their right mind puts aniseed in a deodorant, anyway?

Work was … as expected: dull and annoying. We had a fire at work today, though. That was mildly interesting. And our … “esteemed” … colleagues to the east had to evacuate their building due to an unexploded WWII bomb.

It appears that no matter what choice I make for my lunch, my colleagues will chose the same nationality for dinner. I basically have three choices: Asian, Turkish or Italian. And whatever I chose they decide on that nationality for dinner … that’s somewhat unsettling. ^^

This morning I read a blog-entry which … stirred a few mental comments. I was unsure whether I should actually post a comment, therefore I didn’t. Maybe you’ll make the connection, I dunno. But I feel with and for you! I hope you understand this for the sincere emotion it is.

Lately a certain urge has … returned. So far I managed to stay on top of it, but it appears to be getting stronger. I understand where it comes from, but there really isn’t anything I can do to … make it go away. I have two choices in the matter and every which one will not change it. One might speed it up, though. It might make the whole thing more bearable in the medium-run. I don’t know … So far my pride of breaking a half year plus spell of “control” has kept me from giving in. I don’t know how much longer that emotion will carry me, though.

I’ve thought about composing another @xyz entry, but didn’t due to the reaction I expect to get from doing so. I have a lot of things in my mind I’d like to put into writing, and constantly re-phrase, to make them just so. I guess those thoughts will never see the light of day, since I don’t exactly see a point. If I should do this, they’d just be glossed over or ignored, so … no point, really.

On another note: I am so bloody tired of people playing (with) me. Yes, I am aware that I open myself willingly to this prospect, but I do this with people who I think I can trust. With my track-record I simply can’t be that far off the mark. I’m seriously beginning to doubt myself, my judgment and my ability to read people.

Well, my self-doubt is resurfacing anyway, in a myriad ways. So I should probably not trouble myself with this one particular thing. But … I’ve always taken pride in certain abilities. And seeing those slip … hurts, a lot.

I should likely have stated this earlier, but I won’t be tagging entries anymore. It doesn’t matter what I do, I catch heat for it. If I tag, I get complaints² about what and how I should be tagging. If I don’t, it’s the same. So now you’re all back to guesswork. And seeing that almost no one is actually willing to ask any questions, most people will mis-judge entries, and I’m right back to … complaints.
But, you know what? This is my blog, and I can do whatever the bloody hell I want. If you’re not happy with what and/or how I write … go and read another blog. If you want to keep informed about me and my life, then you’d better be prepared to deal with how I give out information!

My hand is most likely not “properly” broken, again, but I guess there’s a hairline fracture, since a bunch of positions and movements hurt. There’s a significant amount of other “ailments” I suffer, but … there’s really no point in listing them here, since … ah well, nvm.

I’ll return to this great book now. Y’all take care, even though I know some of you aren’t interested in my good wishes.