After having been suggested this movie (Thanks Lu) I watched it.

When I was done I went away with mixed feelings. Of course it was a good movie, well done and filmed. But there also where messages on a multitude of levels. I’m not gonna state the obvious here, because that would be pointless.

I did see a few … traits of character and patterns of behavior in the guy, which I recognized from myself. There where a few ultimately rather self-destructive things in there. Even the voice-overs noted that. But he still kept going. But why does someone behave that way, or more to the point, why do I behave like that?

Ultimately it can’t really be for the few brief moments of bliss or happiness, because the unhappy moments far outweigh them. It is emotionally (as opposed to physically) harmful. But then … I honestly can’t find an explanation. But such behavior harms on a far more basic and existential level. Skin heals, but … injuries to the soul never go away. They might fade somewhat, but they will forever remain.

Maybe I really should go and find professional help … try to analyze this stupid trait. I wonder what would happen if I found out. (How) would I change? How hurtful would the reason be?

Okay … I’m afraid this here entry doesn’t make one hell of a lotta sense. I guess if a few people could see my thoughts it might actually tell them some things, but since they can’t, I guess it won’t. Sorry ’bout that, and the confusion.